i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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