just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
