hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
