But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
