they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
