so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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