Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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