am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
