hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
