That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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