Say something about gay babies.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
