I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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