i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
