I wannas sexs uuuuu
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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