the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
