he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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