Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
