that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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