I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
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i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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