i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
