It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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