You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
