you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
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Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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