I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
