...so i touched it.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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