a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
