Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
