oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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