i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
