Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
