it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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