and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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