You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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