God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize