Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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