guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
