Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
