you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
