I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
