I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
