Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
