The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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