Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
