i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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