I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
