She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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