I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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