I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
