i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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