so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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