I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
