Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize