i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
