I love black thongs
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
and she was petting her beer can
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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