Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
