I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
