dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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