Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
