yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
