i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
