Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She needs sedatives and a leash
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
