Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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