Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
